The Life I Wish I Didn't Have
by arKlight.RevIsion
Summary: "Oh alright." I said, giving up. "One day?" "This day." She clarified. I smiled." That's going to be too easy." One-shot about Sadie and Nico. My first try at Sadico. R&R! FIXED ONE MAJOR PLOT TWIST THAT I FORGOT TO WRITE. R&R...AGAIN!


**Um… this is my first try at a Sadico story. So please tell me what you think. Inspired from something I read in Facebook.**

Nico's POV

Boy, I was so excited! I kept shuffling in my seat willing the time to go faster, even though I knew that it was practically useless. My hands kept travelling from one place to another – from resting on my lap to fidgeting with my ring, then back to resting on my lap again. My eyes darted out the window, looking at everything that caught my attention. Stupid ADHD.

I knew that Thalia was watching with an amused expression behind me. I turned around to face her, a huge smile plastered all over my face. "I can't believe I'm finally going to see Sadie again!"

Thalia rolled her eyes. "We get it. You just came back from Europe, and you're gonna see your girlfriend after a very long time. No need to be so excited about it." She leaned backwards on her seat, and stretched.

"But I'm going to finally see her after two freaking years!" I said excitedly.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." She waved her hand dismissively. "Anyway, are we there yet?"

"Almost." I answered. Gods, I wish Argus would drive the van faster.

As if reading my thoughts, all of his eyes, well the ones that were facing me anyway, glared at me. I shivered. It was very unnerving. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear the phrase "Looks can kill" came from that guy.

"Anyway…" I tried changing the subject, just to get him off my back. Then, something clicked in the back of my head. I turned around again, only to find Thalia lying horizontally across the seats, her facial expression somewhat serene.

"Hey Pinecone Face, what made you come with me anyway?" I smirked. I knew she hated that nickname, and ended up with two broken arms, third degree burns, and broken ribs when I called her that the first time. Percy's was even worse.

"I thought I told you _never to call me that!"_ She screamed at me, jumping from her position and wrapping her hands around my neck. What made it worse was that I felt a tingling sensation on my skin where she touched me, which then grew into a searing hot pain. I desperately clawed at her hands, attempting to get them off of me before she burned my head away from my shoulders.

"Thalia…get-ack!…off…burns…" I choked out. Thalia seemed to understand, and released her hold on my neck.

"You sure are violent, you know that?" I said, rubbing at my neck, which was tinged red from her choking. I dared her to answer, and she only gave me a glare in return. She slumped back in her seat, crossed her arms, and looked out the window.

Apart from that 'almost-killing-each-other' phase, the rest of the ride was pretty uneventful. My ADHD still acted up, and I was ready to explode from boredom by the time Brooklyn House came into view.

"We're here." I mumbled. I got out of the van, and held the door open for Thalia, just to be polite. Still inside, I saw her stare at me, like she was shocked at my gesture. It was very irritating.

"Wow death breath. When in Hades did you learn you manners?" She said, stepping out of the van gracefully. I took a sharp breath. Since when was Thalia graceful?

I smirked. "Probably when you finally learned to act like a lady."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "What did you say?"

I shoved my face in hers. "I said, I'm so sorry…_Lady_ Grace."

Shi gritted her teeth. "You're pushing it, Di Angelo." BY this time I could feel the electricity in the air, or was it the tension? It was so think that even Kronos' scythe couldn't possibly cut it. She clenched her hands into fists, and I tapped my cheek with my finger, daring her to punch.

Suddenly I was down on the ground, my cheek stinging and Thalia glaring at me from above. I stared at her incredulously. "What, you didn't think that I'd hurt you _pwetty_ little face, Nicky?" I was sure that I probably had a bruise in there somewhere.

I didn't answer. Instead, I swept my feet from under her, and she fell to the ground. I stood up, and dusted the dirt off my leather jacket and pants. "Don't push it, Thalia." I offered my hand to help her up.

She smirked, and pulled me down, simultaneously landing a punch direct to my gut which knocked the wind out of me. She then followed by kicking my in the place where no man should ever be kicked. I crumpled to the ground caressing my jewels.

"My…eggs..." I mumbled. "Curse…you…Pinecone Face." Even though I was in an _extreme _amount of pain, I still said the last word daringly.

"That's it!" She screamed. "Nico Di Angelo, prepare to die!"

I shut my eyes and curled up into a ball, preparing to take what I would guess was a very brutal and painful beating. I waited for the pain, thinking of the one good thing that could come out of this. _Hmm...Sadie as my nurse, feeding me, always by my side…this is SO worth it._

After about five seconds, I opened one eye, only to see Thalia offering me a hand. I took it gingerly, aware that this might be some sort of plan. When I was fully standing, I gave her a quizzical look.

"What?" she said. "You still have your date, and I'm not _that _heartless. Now come on, they probably know we're here already."

I followed her up the stairs of the warehouse, and into the mansion above. Egyptian magic still ceases to amaze me, after all these years. The Kane's Mansion stood atop an old warehouse, smack dab beside the East River. As we got nearer, I could her someone yelling, some things being thrown, and the occasional grunt of a baboon.

"-have to tell him sooner or later Sadie." I recognized carter's voice. But something troubled me. He seemed anxious, worried, or maybe even depressed for some reason.

"But it's his first day back!" I heard Sadie's voice, also sad and worried. "I wouldn't want to-"

"It's better now than never." I heard Amos' commanding voice. "What do you think would happen if he were to learn about it later this afternoon? You have to think about his happiness, and what it would do to him too Sadie."

"I know that!" She said. "But I can't, alright?! I bloody can't tell him that-"

Without even thinking, I burst in through the doors. The Kanes were very kind to have replaced that sorry excuse slab of stone with more practical double doors. What I saw though, was _not_ what I was expecting.

Carter, Amos, and Sadie were sitting around the coffee table, Sadie facing Carter and Amos. Her eyes were puffy and red, probably from crying, and Carter and Amos had stern looks on their faces.

"What's going on?" I asked, then noticed Carter and Amos staring at me. "Uh, hi um…your Majesty." I took a deep bow. Carter or not, this guy was still the Pharaoh.

"Nico." Amos nodded once, and he and Carter stood up. As they passed Sadie, I saw carter patting her on the shoulder, and Amos giving her stern glance. They both went up the stairs, and left me alone with Sadie and Thalia. Sadie didn't move, and remained in her seat with her head hung low.

I immediately went over to where Sadie was sitting, and kneeled in front of her. "Sadie?" He asked.

"Hey Nico." Sadie said, almost a whisper. "Thought you wouldn't come." She was still looking down at the floor, and her hair was covering her face.

I felt so heartbroken at the sight of her so…vulnerable, so fragile. On instinct, I hugged her tightly, while rubbing her back. The notion seemed to calm her a bit, that is, until I felt her body sob into mine.

I hugged her even tighter. Her arms wrapped around me like they were afraid I'll go. From my peripheral vision, I saw Thalia standing at the door, unsure what to do. She just looked at us, shocked, and I even thought I saw her frown for a bit.

When Sadie was finally done crying, I held her at arm's length, and looked straight into her eyes. "Tell me what happened."

"How much did you hear?" she asked, her voice cracked.

"Not much, just something you don't want to tell me." I said. I saw her flinch, so I quickly added, "And I won't force you to tell me. Just tell me whenever you want. I'll be here."

My heart did a little leap when I saw the edge of her lips curling into a smile. "Nice save loverboy." She stood up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me upward. Gods, for a fifteen-year old girl, she was very strong.

Then she seemed to notice Thalia who was by the door, and her smile faltered. "Why's she here?"

Now I was genuinely confused. Why was Sadie so hostile all of a sudden?

I led her over to where Thalia was, and immediately wished I didn't. The two girls glared at each other like they wanted to kill one another already. Sadie clung to my arm, and I noticed Thalia flinch.

I didn't know what was going on. "Uh, girls?"

"I'm leaving." Thalia said, and left without another word. I could almost hear disappointment in her voice.

"Okay…that was weird." My gaze fell from her to Sadie. She was really stunning, wearing a white knee-length dress with frills at the edges and ballet shoes, which was a first. Her hair didn't have any dye on it, and I really liked it. In that getup, she just seemed so natural, like a goddess.

**~LINE BREAK~**

We spent the first few hours just lazing around the house, or cuddling with each other. She asked me a lot of questions about my trip to Europe, which was actually a mission given to me by my father Hades to retrieve an escaped soul, _again_. It was very tiring, not to mention that very embarrassing mix up I had at London with Percy and Harold Potter or something.

She told me that Carter and Zia were getting married. They had planned the wedding to be a month from now. I asked her if she would come, and her expression darkened. She said that there were complications, and when I asked what they were, she refused to tell me, saying that I'll know later.

I wondered if that was what they were arguing about before. It seemed too much of a little thing for Sadie to get so emotional about; she was usually very good at controlling her emotions.

She told me that the Egyptians gods were about to make a comeback, but they didn't know when. I told that it was great, that she can be the host of Isis again. The only thing she told me was that it was never going to happen.

She told me that Carter's rule as the Pharaoh was the greatest thing that happened to Egypt; a festival was going to be celebrated in his honor the day after tomorrow. I told her that we should definitely come, and she shied away, saying that she wouldn't be available.

I didn't know what was wrong with her. She seemed so eager to be with me, to touch me, but whenever I made plans to be with her even more, she just seemed to crumple those plans into a ball and throw them away. It was heartbreaking; I didn't know what she wanted.

Just before I was finally going to give up, I asked her if she wanted to go to the park. She acted like she didn't hear me, so repeated the question for her.

That seemed to snap her away from her thoughts. "Oh, sorry Nico. I was just caught up thinking. But sorry, I can't. I have things to do here."

"You aren't doing anything now." I told her. She smiled a bit.

She sighed. "Tell you what, last one day without me, and I'll do whatever you want to do tomorrow."

I was taken aback with what she said. "What are you talking about? Why couldn't we just go somewhere now?"

"What, you saying you can't bear one day without me?" she asked me again.

"Oh alright." I said, giving up. "One day?"

"This day." She clarified.

I smiled." That's going to be too easy."

**~LINE BREAK~**

That's how I ended up walking in the park, alone.

I was strolling across a street full of shops, when I saw Thalia sitting in a café with another girl. She was probably a hunter, judging from how she dresses – parka jacket, hunting boots, silver jeans, and a silver tiara on the top of her head. I crept behind a wall behind where Thalia was sitting, and crouched down so that nobody can see me

Why didn't I see that before? I've been hanging out with Thalia for almost the entire day yesterday, and I never noticed that she wasn't wearing her circlet anymore. But why wouldn't she be?

I crept up closer to where they were, being careful not to be seen. Stalkerish behavior, I know, but sue me for being curious.

"I don't know Phoebe." I heard Thalia say. "I'm starting to regret leaving the hunt."

Her words shocked me. Thalia left the hunt? Since when? She said yesterday that she was taking a break from hunting, and that she decided to spend her time with me at Camp Half-Blood. It was so unlike her, but since she wasn't trying to kill me, who was I to complain? Thalia was actually nice once you got to know her, you only have to get past the "kill-each-other" stage of friendship.

"You could always come back. Artemis said so herself. And we _did_ tell you, that boy will break your heart sooner or later." Phoebe said.

What boy? I was filled with these questions, but I had no way of finding the answers. Asking Thalia? Yeah right, and risk her finding out that I'd been stalking her. Not a chance.

"Trust me Phoebe, I want to. But something tells me something horrible and tragic is going to happen soon, and Nico will need me to be there for him."

"You really love him, do you Thalia?"

"Yes, I do."

Under normal circumstances, I would've been overjoyed. Sure, I'd had a crush on Thalia when I was like ten. But times were different now. I just sat there, shocked at their conversation. I knew how I would've felt before – giddy, excited. But now, all I felt was regret.

Why didn't I see it before? Thalia wanting to come with me, Thalia spending all day with me yesterday, Thalia glaring at Sadie, and flinching at the sight of me and Sadie together…

Thalia Grace loves me.

Thalia Grace left the hunt for me.

But the problem was, I didn't love her back. Not anymore.

I ran away from that place as fast as my legs could carry me. Luckily, the day was already ending by then, so I made my way back to the Kanes.

When I opened the door, I shouted, "I did it Sadie!" I was so happy. Now, we could spend every waking hour together. I was prepared the curious looks Amos and Carter will give me, or the kiss Sadie will give me later.

What I wasn't prepared for was the body sitting in the center of the room.

Around fifty people were huddled around, mournful expressions on their faces. I could See Carter's curly Hair, Amos' suit, Walt, Zia, Jaz, and the other former initiates circling a body. I could feel the death energy from it. It was a fresh smell, meaning the person had just died.

I tried to look for Sadie, but I couldn't find her. But as soon as I got closer, I found the reason why.

She was lying there, cold, pale, and dead.

I didn't know when the tears came out. All I know is that my body moved of its own accord, and the next thing I knew, I was hugging her lifeless body. The others gave me pitiful looks – they all knew how much I loved her.

Now I realized why she was acting the way she was before. Now, she would never be able to go to the wedding. She would never be able to be the great magician she could've been. She would never be able to go to the festival anymore. She would never go to the park with me again.

Because she was dead.

"Why?" I said to her, knowing that wherever she may be, she would be able to hear me. "Why'd you leave? Why now, Sadie. _Why?_"

Carter stepped up, and asked me to come with him. We went upstairs, to Sadie's room. Memories flooded my mind; it was too much to take. I broke down on the very floor, right after Carter locked the door.

"She called me in here just this afternoon." Carter took a seat on his sister's bed. "I didn't know why, but she told me to give you this letter." From his pocket he pulled out a piece of paper neatly folded in half.

I took it gingerly. From the moment I touched the paper, I instantly knew that this was hers. I opened it, and a few simple words were written:

_You did it Nico. Now please do it everyday._

_I love you._

"But why?" I demanded. "Why now? Why did she die now Carter! Why now…" I slowly reached into my pocket, and pulled out something I had wanted to give to her, but never got a chance to. Tough luck. Now, I would _never _be able to give it to her.

"Nico." Carter said, catching my attention. "Sadie had…problems."

"What kind of problems?"

He sighed. "We recently learned that…how do I put this? The magic she used during the war finally started taking its toll on her body."

"I don't get it."

"She was dying, Nico. And slowly. It was like cancer – the magic was slowly taking control, destroying her from the inside out. At first, we tried everything, but this wasn't like the mortal cancer. It was purely magical, and none of our healers could find a way to cure her. Believe me Nico, we tried everything. Even the Greeks weren't able to help. This was supposed to be her last day, according to our healers, and she didn't want you to know."

"But…why?"

"Because…because you would try and find a way to get her back." I recoiled. Yup, that was exactly what I would do.

Carter put a hand on my shoulder. "She's had a happy life Nico. And just thought I'd let you know, _you _made half of those times the best of her life. And for that, I thank you." He walked out the door.

I sobbed even harder. And I wished that I didn't have the life I have now.

I let her family take care of her – give her the proper funeral, the proper rituals, and others. Anubis came, and did the Ritual on her himself. I just stood there, watching silently.

Thalia was beside me, hugging me and telling me everything is going to be alright. But I knew it wasn't. It never will be.

With all my might, I pushed her away, and ran outside.

As expected, she followed me there. I was standing on the edge of the warehouse, and have half a mind to just jump. She came up behind me, but didn't get any closer.

"Nico-" she started in a soft voice.

"Don't. just don't. You don't know what it's like. You don't know how painful it is to lose everybody you care about." I turned around and faced her. "First it was my mother, then it was my sister, and now her! Why does it always happen to me Thalia? Is it because I'm Hades' son? Or is it because…" I trailed off.

She moved one step closer. "Because what?"

"Because I was never meant to feel love. Maybe it's because I was cursed to be alone for my entire existence, to never feel true love forever. Maybe it's because I don't deserve it."

"But you do Nico." She stepped forward and hugged me. "If anyone here deserves to be loved, it's you. You face against all odds and survived everything that's been thrown you way. You _deserve_ to be loved Nico, so don't tell me that crap."

I pushed her away. "Why do you care so much Thalia?"

"Because…" she didn't meet my gaze.

"You love me." I breathed out. "I know."

"Then-"  
I cut her off. "But you don't deserve me Thalia. I'm too much of a wreck to ever be with you. If there's anyone here that deserves to be loves _properly, _it's you Thalia. So please, just forget about me."

"But Nico-"

"Don't you get it? I don't love you! So get it through that thick skull of yours and move on!" I turned away from her. I didn't see her, but I could hear her, sobbing and running back to the mansion.

And for the second time that night, I wished that I didn't have the life I have.

**Wow, that was long. So how was it? All of the other stories will probably be updated later tonight, so look forward to it! **


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